Is Prioritizing Ourselves Selfish?

Let’s be real: the minute you even think about prioritizing yourself, the guilt creeps in like a nosy neighbor. You know, that “I should probably be doing something for someone else right now” voice? Yeah, tell her to pipe down.

Because here’s the thing: prioritizing yourself is not selfish. It’s necessary. It’s survival. It’s self-preservation in a world that will have you running on empty and still asking, “Can you do me a quick favor?” Girl, I’m two seconds from a breakdown and three sips away from a lukewarm matcha NO, I cannot do you a favor.

We’ve Been Conditioned to Be the Helper, Not the Helped

Especially as women, moms, daughters, partners—we get applauded for being selfless to the point of self-destruction. You ever been sick, like on-your-deathbed sick, and still making snacks for tiny humans or trying to text back your boss with your last ounce of strength? Why? Because we’ve been told that taking care of ourselves is indulgent. Spoiled. A luxury.

It’s not. It’s hygiene. Mental, emotional, and sometimes actual hygiene (because let’s not lie, sometimes self-care is just washing our damn hair).

The Guilt Trip is Real and Uncalled For

People really out here acting like you choosing yourself is a betrayal. Sis, I said I needed 30 minutes to breathe, not that I was abandoning the village.

We start to feel like we owe everyone something—our time, our energy, our “yes” even when we don’t have it to give. But ask yourself this: when’s the last time someone felt guilty about putting you last? Hmm. I’ll wait.

You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup (Especially One with a Cracked Lid and Missing Straw)

Listen, your cup ain’t just empty—it’s bone dry, dusty, and might have a Post-it on it that says “refill me, please.” You can’t show up fully for your kids, your partner, your work, or even your damn self if you’re constantly at zero.

Self-prioritization is not selfish—it’s smart. And honestly, it’s overdue. You don’t get a trophy for burning out. You get anxiety, resentment, and hormonal acne.

Normalize Saying “No” Without a PowerPoint Presentation

You don’t owe people an explanation. “No” is a full-ass sentence. “I can’t today.” Period. “I’m resting.” Period. “I’m taking care of myself.” Period. If they don’t get it, that’s a them problem.

And if you still feel weird about it, let’s reframe it: You’re not saying no to them—you’re saying yes to yourself. That sounds a little sexier, right?

Final Thoughts from Someone Who Used to Be a People-Pleasing Olympian

You’re not selfish for needing space. You’re not wrong for wanting rest. You’re not a bad mom, bad partner, or bad person for saying, “I matter too.” That’s not weakness, that’s wisdom. That’s grown-ass boundaries. That’s evolution.

So the next time someone tries to guilt-trip you for prioritizing yourself, smile politely and say,
“I love y’all… but I love me more today.”
And then go light your candle, throw on your robe, and do whatever the hell fills your cup back up.

Because baby, you’re not selfish—you’re self-aware. And that’s powerful as F!